(Past) Midnight Musings: I am feeling steamy. I am nothing but hot wet air

Can I get really honest right now? And I have to be honest—I’m always getting really honest. So. I just had an unnecessary argument with my parents. And I mean, c’mon! I feel like I am definitely too old to be having arguments with my parents. Seriously, I am. But parents will be parents, and sometimes (sigh), children will be children. So I had this argument and then I scurried to get to bed as soon as possible—since the window of getting to bed at a decent time had long passed. As I was in the shower, I tried to meditate but ended up berating myself for getting caught up in silliness…and then it hit me.


Our lives, our dreams, our purpose are constantly being kidnapped by the waste of our most valuable resource–TIME.


It hit me so clearly, I froze up in the shower and almost choked on the streaming water. More than anything else, our time is the one thing that can never be reversed or redeemed. Jay Z once said, “But once a good girl’s gone bad, she’s gone forever.” But that’s not even true. A good girl gone bad can go good again. But once some good time is gone, it’s gone forever. You’re just a second, minute, day, year, decade older.


Let me take you to my favorite book and to some things it says about time. Each man’s life is but a breath” (Psalm 39:4-5) Have you ever gone outside in the wintertime and expelled some hot wet breath? You saw a wisp of smoke for approximately 2.5 seconds and then it disappeared. That right there is your life. I’m sorry to be so morbid but look, it’s reiterated here in James 4:14. “You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”


Our lives are literally vanishing before our eyes. I remember longing to be 18 and now…I’m older than 18. Thought I was going to tell you my age, didn’t you? Seriously, the enemy of our lives DESPERATELY wants to steal our TIME. More than anything else. And the more time that goes by without us living in our purpose is the more time we stay and feel defeated and then we feel more hopeless and we stay longer in that rut of nothing till we end up growing up to be just like those older people we currently judge. Those older people that know EXACTLY what they should be doing but are now just kinda floundering because so much time has gone by already and they don’t know where to start, so they decide to do nothing. And just get older doing nothing.


Do you see how time is so serious? All this time, I would’ve thought it was about emotions and life circumstances and just the general busyness of it all. But NO. The myriad of random things pulling us in different directions is all a distraction to keep us from pursuing the things we should be. Things with eternal value and lasting impact. I don’t know about you but it’s really so clear to me now. It’s so easy to get caught up arguing with parents and friends, or get caught up in emotion about the love life (or lack thereof), or the hateful job, or get distracted by social media, or feel overwhelmed and downtrodden by health issues…till you get totally caught up in CRAP and end up with NOTHING. No purpose fulfilled. Empty and dry and right where you started.


This is my heart right now ya’ll. I’m literally writing from the heart and pressing send. This is some hard gummy stuff being scraped from the recesses of my heart that I’m giving to God, and I’m hoping you see yourself in it too. I’m not judging you—no, not even you older people. I cannot judge because honestly, I do plan on scrolling “the Gram” within the next few hours. I probably will look a few times more than I should, actually. What I’m saying is that it’s never too late and the time is now. We have to try. We have to get serious about accountability and starting to do what we should be doing. We might not be “doing the wrong thing” and might be praying and “holding on” in an attempt to survive life. But you feel as though you’re wasting away feeling empty. Why live that life when we could be trying and falling and getting up and living? I want to do what Paul encouraged the Ephesians to do, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…”


It’s two hours later, way past my bedtime and I am dead tired ya’ll. But I feel like I have literally made a step further into my purpose. And that…that was worth my time.

time blog post photo


11 thoughts on “(Past) Midnight Musings: I am feeling steamy. I am nothing but hot wet air

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