MAYBEWELL. Stop drinking the poison.

Did you miss me??! You better say yes because I definitely missed y’all. It’s been two weeks since I posted anything and in that time, I battled with whether I should interrupt the projects I was involved in to write but decided against it. So, to make up for my absence, I’ll be posting a few times for the next few weeks chronicling my adventures of the last few.

You’ll be seeing more about those experiences soon but today is a more somber day. May is mental awareness month. Someone you know well is likely suffering with depression or anxiety or PTSD or SOMETHING. The problem pervades in the black community but 63% of us feel like we’re weak if we address it.* Shame on us. I was able to collaborate with a dear friend on a special project called MAYBEWELL. Every day of May, she will release a 2 min video chronicling personal stories on how people from the black community feel or deal with their emotions. Today was my day.

That was sadly my story for a time but I’m so so grateful for it because it’s how I came to know and love God as I do today. Not the judgmental God the world shuns, not the stone-casting God church babies grow up with and eventually cast away, determined to cast their own happier lot. The God that probably shook His head as I frantically tried to piece life together again on my own and when I finally turned to Him in desperation like “ok I’m a hot mess,” smiled and said “I got you.” Emotional, physical, psychological mess and all. NOBODY else would do that for you. Nobody. He’s my ride-or-die.

It’s also how I came to authentically love who I’m made to be. Outside of my intellect, strikingly good looks, charm and wit – and most importantly – of PEOPLE. Mi nuh care WHO dem is (Translation: I don’t care who they are). I’m in this skin, talking like I talk, loving how I love, and expressing the way I do because I am purposed to use all those things the way God wants. So boo. Boo to the lies that tell you you’re too much or too little or too expressive or too honest. You may very well need some refining but you are equipped with certain personality quirks because of your life assignment. Ultimately, it’s not even about you or your personality – it’s about the assignment. Never forget that. I did for a second.

One more note: Victimization/self-pity is not your friend. It’s the kind of friend that comes around and makes you feel good as you hang and wallow together. She comes over and leaves lil gifts at your place. Gifts like bitterness, resentment, entitlement and unforgiveness. These gifts feel great at first because “I deserve it! I earned the right to be angry! Did I get an apology? Did anyone change their stance? Has anyone seen my point of view? Did you see how amazing my life was before and how I gotta fight back now? Why the bleep do they get to get away with their crap and I’m over here suffering?!” So thank you very much for these gifts; I will definitely unwrap and wear them. Sooner or later though, they end up suffocating you and you realize your desire to be heard and understood at any cost will cost you far more than the reward of being heard and understood will ever bring you. You end up drinking the poison that was served. When I realized this was happening to me, I had to make up in my mind to change me even if nobody else did. And that’s when you really start to walk in God-given power. You harness that thing and go! The time to change is now and the only person you can change is YOU.


Please like, share, tweet this post – someone needs it. Feel free to reach out for prayer or advice or references for counselors. Remember to check in every day of May at It’s time to be well.



UPDATE: See my post on resources I used for depression.

Sneak peeks of what’s to come:

*I took that trip I said I would finally take. Whoop!! I went to Chicago!! By myself! Agh. Beautiful city. Cold and beautiful.

*I went to Ann Arbor & Detroit. I met up with a college friend and we had such a blast.

*The other trips really came about because I planned to go to Flint. Man oh man – I have no words for my time there.

Can’t wait to share! Subscribe, you hear me?! Subscribe!


One thought on “MAYBEWELL. Stop drinking the poison.

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